Family Values

THE CHALLENGES OF THE MODERN FAMILY

By Nathan Adams

  Paul tells the Ephesians, “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).  Parents need to wisely approach the manner in which they raise their children because the time is short that they have and their children do live in evil days.  The family as a whole is under fire today and each family must meet many serious modern challenges.  It is true that the more evil the environment in which the Christian must live, the more necessary it is to be careful and to be strong in the Lord.

  In the twenty-first century we understand what is meant by Paul when he said that “the days are evil.”  Family values and even what constitutes the structure of family is under attack.  From nearly every direction, our culture threatens our faith.  Any individual that takes seriously their relationship with God cannot help but be concerned about the future of society.  For such people, many of them place the spiritual survival of our families at the top of the list of their concerns.

  There are many forces that are attacking the family.  Modern challenges are as deadly as they are real.  Let us consider a few of these challenges:

1) Certainly we see the going philosophies of the day taking their tolls upon our families.  Humanistic beliefs such as evolution, situation ethics, secularism, and atheism have robbed families of their origin, value, and structure.  Removing God from our lives and families destroys any knowledge of the responsibilities and roles of family members.  If there is no true way to conduct ourselves and people are to choose for themselves what is best and all is relatively right, what prevents harmful behaviors from being acceptable within our families?

2) The headlong pursuit of affluence and wealth in a materialistic culture has sacrificed the health of many families.  The “American Dream” in many cases has destroyed our families.  Parents do not have time for their children because of their drive succeed in the workplace.  Such people find self-justification in the thought that they are providing for their family.  They fail to realize that children do not need things, they need parents.  Parents who love them and are there to guide them in this life.  Money, houses, electronics, cars, and a large bank account does not make a successful parent.  Many times these are the reasons that people fail miserably in their parental responsibilities. 

3) The wave of sexual promiscuity that has come from the “Sexual Revolution” has dealt serious blows to the very heart of the family.  The beauty of the sexual relationship that God intended has been denigrated and perverted to something that is vile and ugly.  Pornography has glorified perverted sex and sought to portray sex as something that should be done often and with many different people.  Such a prevailing mindset has led to the destruction of the mutually faithful and beneficial one-flesh relationship between husband and wife (Matthew 19:6).  Many people do not differentiate between a marriage relationship and two people living together or having sex out of wedlock.  There is an enormous difference though, one is blessed by God and the other is condemned.

4) Homosexuality has leveled some of the most dangerous attacks upon the family in the past decade.  They have sought to redefine the family in their perverted image instead of family being as God designed it.  Homosexual “marriage” can never be in context with the Bible.  When God instituted marriage in Genesis 2:24-25 He made clear that man would leave his father and mother and would become one flesh with his wife.  This is obviously a relationship between a man and a woman.  God designed marriage and the family this way because He knew that it was best.  Homosexuals cannot have productive relationships because they are practicing that which is not natural (Romans 1:26-27).  This unnatural relationship cannot exist in the natural relationship of marriage or parenting.  Such endeavors will never result in anything wholesome and good, instead it will be perverted and indecent.  Our very young children are exposed to books that promote and glorify having homosexual parents as they seek to destroy families through the indoctrination of future generations.

5) Rampant divorce has made it impossible for many children to have any confidence that their home will hold together long enough for them to grow up.  A one parent home because of divorce is a home that is going to struggle to meet the needs of children in that home.  After many years of working with youth, I have seen over and over again how affected these young people are that live in broken homes.  These affects are rarely considered by the parents when they are moving toward tearing apart what God has put together through divorce.  Divorce has made marriage seem like it is something you can try on and return if you are not happy, like clothes to a department store.  This destroys the foundation of family which is the marriage relationship.

6) Anti-family public policies are creating a difficult environment for families.

7) The children’s rights and social parenting movements are advocating that children are raised by socially acceptable guidelines that are not what is best for the children. 

8) Abortion has shown that many people believe their right to “choose” supercedes the right of their children to live.  Similarly, euthanasia has impacted the willingness of families to lovingly stand by their family loved ones during difficult sicknesses.  When a society is willing to kill family members at the beginning and end of this life, it is a sad commentary about the destruction of the love and devotion that provides the cohesion that allows families to be what God would desire. 

9) The entertainment media has instilled a warped view of family.  A teenage girl said that she just wanted her relationship with her mother to be like the television show “Gilmore Girls.”  Yet, that such a fantasy relationship is impossible in this life.  Many television shows and movies present the family in very twisted manner.  Encouraging children to ignore their out-of-touch parents and do what they think is best is a very popular theme.  Our entertainment often promotes sexual promiscuity, alcohol, and drugs are cool and normal for young people.  These things confuse our children.

10) The education system in our country has pushed humanistic and atheistic views upon our children to the exclusion of truth.  The system has also promoted such a large number of activities upon our children as to barely leave time for a true home life or family time.  Such things contribute to our families dying by activity. 

  There are frightening forces and ideologies arrayed against the family.  What can we do to meet these challenges facing us?  The simplest and most effective answer is that we can serve God faithfully in our families.  God has always been the best way to stay strong spiritually and survive the attacks of a hostile culture. 

  Serving God may seem very simplistic.  However, the kind of “serving the Lord” that makes a family spiritually strong goes beyond what we call “nominal Christianity.”  Joshua said, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell.  But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).  Jesus said, “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.  If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor” (John 12:26).  We will find that we have what it takes, as families, to overcome difficulty if we have truly given ourselves to the Lord.  This overcoming requires that we also genuinely love the Lord and our fellow man (Matthew 22:37-39).  To accomplish this we must be willing to “serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear” (Hebrews 12:28).  Someone will invariably ask though, how does serving God protect our families?

  To ward off spiritual disease and destruction, a family needs an “immune system.”  The immune system God intended families to have is built up day by day in the process of serving Him.  It is the only way and there is no shortcut to achieving this.  Without the resources that are built up in this way, there is really nothing that can protect a family from the devastating influences that we have to contend with right now.  Serving God will build the following characteristics within your family:

IT BUILDS FAITH

  Most of the modern threats to the family have grown out of a humanistic philosophy that denies the existence of God.  Faith in the reality of God, real trust in Him personally will enable us to meet these challenges.  When we have a real faith in God it will create a powerful trust in Him personally.  Having such a trust enables us to move forward and face challenges.  John spoke of this when he wrote, “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. (1 John 5:4-5)” There is no pill a person can take that will give the type of faith that has the strength to overcome the world.  It can only come through the daily process of studying God’s word and applying those teachings to our lives.  If we are to “stand against the wiles of the devil” (Ephesians 6:10-11) we must prepare ourselves to do so.  Faith will cause us to fearlessly press ahead trusting that no matter what may come in this life we always have a better future awaiting us. 

  A family with true faith will stand strong against the attacks of culture.  Such families will join hands and pray to God for strength and a great future.  They will find comfort in their common love, faith, and hope with God.  Such a foundation within a family endures the storms of life, leaving the home intact (Matthew 7:24-27).  The rock of faith in Jesus Christ makes for solid and indestructible families.

IT BUILDS GENUINE CHARACTER WITHIN PEOPLE

  The worst dangers our families face today are those that strike at our innermost being, our very nature as beings created in God’s image.  A godly character must be present deep within our hearts in order for us to deal with the bombardment of the world.  Peter spoke of such character when he stated, “Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge; and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness; and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you” (2 Peter 1:5-11).  We should be making a determined effort everyday to add and build upon the qualities of God’s character in our lives.  Paul prayed for his brethren to be “strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man” (Ephesians 3:16).  Courage and endurance come from deep within an individual and are never shallow in nature.  In spiritual warfare, we need the spiritual resources that come only from a godly character. 

  Character is not built up relaxing on the couch.  Instead, it is developed and perfected in the active work of serving God.  Such efforts will never be wasted and will always benefit an individual in this life and in the life to come.  “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58).

  Families that hope to survive what is happening today are going to need more than the superficial strength of those who merely call themselves Christians or just attend ‘church’ somewhere.  While such things are absolutely necessary, they are not the whole of serving God. For families to survive they will need the real strength of character that comes from genuine, daily service to God.

IT BUILDS DEEP AND RICH RELATIONSHIPS IN THE FAMILY

  Such relationships do not just happen.  They develop and deepen over time as we serve the Lord.  The best marriages, parents, and families as a whole are found in people who learn how to function in relationships from God.  It is as true for our physical families as it is for the spiritual family of God (the church) that our ultimate strength is found in “the effective working by which every part does its share” (Ephesians 4:16). 

  During war, men in frontline units often develop incredibly strong bonds that come from their shared experience in battle.  Our families are no different.  The best strength in the world is the strength of those who have grown strong serving in the Lord’s army together.  Mutual edification makes for real strength. Serving the Lord enriches our family relationships, and in so doing it builds into those relationships a strength that can hardly come any other way.

   All of these attributes in our families will give us courage to persevere.  The devil would love to defeat us with fear and despair.  Without this courage we are lost.  Each of us must make up our minds about which side we are on.  We cannot conquer sin while compromising with it or running from it.  The godly family that survives modern culture and overcomes in the Lord is not one that cowardly compromises with evil.  The godly families are the Joshuas of today who courageously stand up for what is true and good and proclaim that “we will serve the Lord.”  This courage that we need today is only formed in our hearts as we experience the reality of living life in Christ.

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